I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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