Kiss
Puke
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
