Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
