he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i out mim tonsoeep
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