...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
