is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
