I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize