They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
