Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
