I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
