Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
