I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Need sex. Gaining weight.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
