Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
