wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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