oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The struggles of a small town man whore
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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