one might say we're banned from that church
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
