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Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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