I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
