I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
