my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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