butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
