He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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