She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
