That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
