Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
