highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
