and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
