Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
