There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
