you didnt know i had herpes?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
