why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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