There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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