I puked a lego.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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