He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
