thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
