you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
