i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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