And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
someone owes me an orgasm
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
