"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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