i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
