this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
