Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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