ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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