I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
