Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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