Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
