we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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