The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
