He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
