She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
