respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
