Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
