Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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