i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
