I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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