ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
