so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
