Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
