I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
