So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize