If that was your dad, he is hot
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
