I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
