We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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