garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
