haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
