The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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