not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
