what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
