i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
