I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
