I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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