the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
