Im at strip club and am horny
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
