I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
